Monday, 16 May 2011

I’ve Got My Smile- May’s #Reverb11

@LetsReverb May Prompt:
Are any of the things you wanted to manifest in 2011 revealing themselves?

Peace of Mind was big on my December wish list.  I’ve experienced a lot of loss, especially the last two years, and have struggled with strong emotions.  Rather than block or numb the anger and hurt, I’ve travelled through my difficult and sometimes overwhelming feelings.  My tendency is to fight tenaciously whenever life seems unfair.  Injustice frustrates me more than anything. It doesn’t seem right accepting that bad things happen to good people, that life often doesn’t make sense no matter what framework is used to try to understand the puzzle.

When I wrote in December that I wanted to let go of the repetitive thoughts in my mind, I wondered how I’d possibly learn to do that.  May marks a turning point.  I can’t articulate how or why, but I’ve learned my lesson.  This image best describes where I have arrived.

I took this photo in April of 2009 flying back to Ireland from my foster sister’s funeral in Florida.  I was riddled with grief but found comfort in the clouds.

Music is another comfort.  I draw strength from women like Nina Simone and others who have carried on through hard times without allowing themselves to become silenced or embittered.  There is a time to fight (remember ‘Mississippi Goddam’?), and there is a time to set down one’s armour, recognizing that not every situation is a battle to be won.
Though I’ve lost a lot, I still have enough.  Most importantly, I’ve got my smile.



  1. Beautiful.

    (And I *love* Nina Simone, too!)

  2. Thanks, Cali! Nina Simone is a LEGEND, eh? :)

  3. I loved this posting honey. I was laying out by the pool in LA, listening to Gipsy Kings on Pandora, there was a slight breeze and I was enjoying your words. Thank you for opening up with your experiences on your blog, it's healing for me to read your words.

  4. Rashaan,I am living vicariously through you... LOL. I can not wait to be poolside in the states this July (though LA sounds much better)! I'm dreaming of getting a campervan and taking a massive road trip across the USA one summer. Maybe our paths will cross in real life then!

    Thanks for your comment. I agree it's healing to share stories with one another. xo


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