Inspiration: #Reverb12:16

Who inspired you in 2012? And why? What gifts did they give you?  
                    How will you carry these forward in 2013?

I’d like to share an excerpt from a post I wrote two years ago on a blog that no longer exists:

When I returned from America a couple of weeks ago, the postman delivered a mysterious package to me.  There was no return address or note inside, only a box wrapped in Christmas paper.  I eagerly tore open my New Year’s surprise.  I held a cardboard box in my hand with the following words written on it.  

"Willow Tree is an intimate line of figurative sculptures that speak in quiet ways to heal, comfort, protect and inspire.  This piece is cast from my original carving, and then painted by hand.  I try to keep the interpretation of Willow Tree open.  I hope this makes it more personal, and allows you to decide its meaning.  May the simplicity of these figures communicate peace and serenity to you and those you love.” –Susan Lordi

I was astonished by the image I uncovered.  It was a small sculpture of a brown-skinned woman with her arms outstretched, birds gently resting on her.  Her face is upturned towards the warmth of the sun.  The woman’s back is arched, exposing her heart chakra to the elements.  She obviously feels safe; the wild creatures must know she is no threat to them either.

Several things struck me about this most treasured gift.  Of all the wonders of the natural world, I feel most inspired by birds and trees. The Willow is special to me and was the first tree I planted in my garden when I bought my house.  It would seem that whoever chose this present knew me very well. Yet I was almost certain the gift was from a stranger.

Back in September when I volunteered at the Rude Health Fair, I connected with an older man called Damian.  Sometimes you hear stories of angels disguised as people walking the earth like the rest of us.  For some reason, it crossed my mind that Damian could be one, even though I don't really believe in earthly angels.  We only spoke for 20 minutes or so, but he radiated good energy and left an impression.  He lavished me with praise that day; I’ll never forget his kind words because they really touched me.  Damian asked for one of my business cards before he left my stall.  I wondered if I’d ever hear from again.  I had a feeling I would.

A month later I received a phone call.  Instantly I recognized Damian’s Dublin accent.  We had another meaningful conversation about the importance of spirituality and the challenges of modern life.  I enjoyed reconnecting with him, but tensed when he asked for my address.  He said he’d like to send me a gift someday.

I had a typical American response.  Part of me was afraid that he might turn up at my door and commit a heinous crime.  I’ve had poor judgment about other men.  Maybe I was wrong again!  Instead of an angel, I could be drawing Mr Crazy upon myself!

Fortunately I trusted my gut reaction and chose to remain open.  Before we hung up, Damian explained that his gift would arrive without a word attached to it. Something had reminded him of me, and he promised to send it when the time was right.

I had been curious but never imagined his gift would be so beautiful!  I don’t have his phone number or any way of thanking him, which is the way he must want it.  Perhaps we’ll never meet or speak again.  I am so grateful for such a heartfelt, unconditional gesture!  It gives me hope for humanity.
                                             

*     *     *

Sadly my son accidentally broke the statue and she’s now headless, but the sentiment remains.  Since the time when I wrote the passage above, Damian and I have developed a friendship. Nowadays I hear from him almost every week.  Though we only met briefly that one time, we have a genuine connection.  I’ve come to appreciate the work he does as a high school guidance counselor, and I value his advice.  Sometimes he calls and simply listens while I let off steam.  He has raised 5 children and has been married for close to 30 years.  He knows all about the ups and downs of family life!

He usually sends texts on Sundays with messages such as:
Let your heart soar and your soul fly. Be free. Be at peace.  But most of all... Be.
Forgiveness is the fragrance a violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.  
Sing like birds sing, not worrying who listens, or what they think.  Keep celebrating your uniqueness.


I’ve been inspired by his kind words and continuous generosity.  He has sent me various little surprises throughout the year. Once he randomly sent €20 with specific instructions to treat myself.  The letter arrived on a day when I was really struggling, and the timing couldn’t have been better!  It’s uncanny.  On my birthday I received a mass card with a lovely note attached, even though he doesn’t know when I was born.  He has also given me a couple of books on spirituality. Most recently he sent Awareness by Anthony de Mello.  I also received a copy of Osho’s Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously.  I’m determined to finish reading them in 2013.  Hopefully I’ll be able to apply what I learn to my daily life.

My relationship with Saint Damian (as I’ve come to think of him) is purely unconditional, which is a real blessing.  Who knows if we’ll ever meet face to face again!  It doesn’t really matter.  I’ve also formed bonds with writers online through projects such as reverb.  These friends listen and offer support, they bear witness to my story as it unfolds.  I do the same for them.  In the coming year I’d like to nurture these connections, regardless of the outcome.  

As I approach the New Year, I’m reminded of a quote Damian sent me: “Life is not the pursuit of happiness but the discovery of joy.” I couldn't agree more.

 #Reverb12 is an annual December writing project which aims to reflect on the past year and manifest the next.  Blog, journal, or simply leave a comment. Everyone is welcome to participate! Today’s prompt is from I Saw You Dancing. Follow Kat on twitter @kat_anew

A Blog Award – What An Honor!

My special thanks to Justina Hurley for giving me this award!

A Paris Surprise

Has a stranger ever caught you off guard?  Have you ever been so absorbed in your own drama, having tuned out everything else, only to discover you’ve been watched the whole time?  That’s exactly what happened to me.

I don’t often bring my children to the city, but yesterday we enjoyed a rare day out together.  Since we live in a rural area, my children are used to living simply.  Materialism doesn’t factor large in their lives, and shopping isn’t something they do a lot of.  Our senses were bombarded as we wandered around, buying clothes and watching people pass by.  The shops were filled with red roses, heart shaped chocolates, and an assortment of gifts for Valentine’s Day.  Though some people scoff at the commercialism of the holiday, it's one of my favorites: a whole day set aside to honor LOVE!

As the day was coming to a close, we popped into one last store to buy a card.  It’s for someone special I plan to write about in an upcoming blog post.  I didn’t realize Willow Tree produced cards, as well as sculptures, so I was thrilled to find a perfect image:

This year has been full of blessings so far, and I’m filled with gratitude.

While I was still browsing, a teddy bear caught my daughter’s eye.  She asked if I’d get it for her.  By then I’d spent our money, and couldn’t justify buying anything else.  

“Please, Mommy?  He’s so soft...” she pleaded.  Her big hazel eyes were hopeful, but quickly filled with tears when I said no.

She wouldn’t let it go.  My daughter is one of the sweetest girls ever, but when she sets her mind to something, it’s hard to distract her.  I could see how much the toy appealed to her, and I felt terrible.  There are so many things I wish I could afford to give my kids; I’d like to provide them with experiences to enrich their lives, toys to stimulate their imaginations and help them develop, comfortable clothes which allow them to express themselves with color, and much more.  I do the best I can, but resources are especially limited since I’m a single parent.

As we were about to leave, my daughter started to cry.  She wasn’t whining or being obnoxious.  I put my bags down, as she buried her face in my coat, and quietly began to sob.

“I can see how disappointed you are, and I’m sorry I can’t buy it for you today.  Maybe we can come back another time now that we know the teddy is here,” I said softly.  I held her a moment longer, before taking her hand and moving towards the door.  

Just as we were about to step into the foyer of the Douglas Shopping Centre, the saleslady called out to us.  “Wait!”  I turned to see what was going on.

A man was at the back of the shop.  We had been the only customers, and I hadn’t noticed his entrance.  “Can I buy this for her?” he asked, holding up the teddy.  “She’s so beautiful, and I can’t bear to see a child cry.”  He spoke softly in a trans-Atlantic accent, similar to mine.  It was hard to place where he was from, but I suspect he was American too.  He looked like he could be related to us; his caramel complexion matched my own.  

I was momentarily speechless and unsure of what to do.  Would it be inappropriate to accept his offer?  What would you have done?  For some reason, I am more comfortable giving than receiving, though I’ve been working on this issue for quite some time.  

Recently I received a Daily Flame email, written by Lissa Rankin, MD, which particularly resonated with me.  She pointed out that allowing someone to give is actually a gift to both the receiver and the giver.  In her post, Lissa encouraged me to accept that the giver will only offer when he or she is in a position to do so.  She stressed the importance of trusting the other person, and acknowledging that it is the giver’s responsibility to set their own boundaries.  

That was an “ah ha” moment for me!  I’m afraid of receiving because I always worry that the exchange will be out of balance.  Since I’ve had poor boundaries in the past- and gave to others until I was drained (because I didn’t first look after my own needs)- I’m often concerned that other people will make the same mistake.  However, it’s arrogant of me to think I can gauge other people’s internal states, and quite frankly, it’s not my responsibility.

In light of this discovery, I decided to accept the gentleman's kind offer.  It took a moment before my daughter understood, but her tears quickly dried when he handed her the teddy.  She cuddled the soft toy, beaming.  Then something magical occurred: the saleslady lit up, my son’s smile grew larger, the man’s eyes began to twinkle, and I was inspired beyond words!  

“Aren’t you going to ask his name?” the saleslady asked my daughter, pointing to her benefactor.

“I’m called Paris.”  We all agreed it was a wonderful name, and that the teddy bear should share it.  Looking back now, I wish I had asked Paris where he was from, why he has made Ireland his home, and does he perform random acts of kindness regularly?  I wonder if he’s married or has children of his own.  An ordinary man gave us an extraordinary gift: he reached out unexpectedly and made one little girl extremely happy.


This morning my daughter woke up early and bounced out of bed.  She joyfully dressed her teddies before she left for school.  Check out Paris Jr.’s makeover!!  The braids and sparkly rainbow tiara are priceless... My daughter owns a matching nightdress, and I suspect these two will be inseparable for some time to come.

Driving home last night, I spoke to my children about the need to pass it on.  When we acknowledge the gifts we’re given, by expressing gratitude, they multiply.  In my deepest heart, I believe in abundance; love will fill every cell if we allow it to. My favorite quote of Rumi’s comes to mind:

 

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

I want to pass on this story to you so your Monday will be brighter, assured that simple gestures make lasting impressions.  What will you do today to pass on your light, and help someone else to shine?

Big hugs,
Robin

 

P.S.  Have a Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

*If you haven’t discovered Owning Pink yet, or followed @Lissarankin, better hop over to her website FAST! Prepare to be seriously, irrevocably inspired.