Friday, 16 September 2011

Diary of a Frazzled Mom

noun /ˈfrazəl/ 
  1. The state of being completely exhausted or worn out
    • - I'm tired, worn to a frazzle
verb /ˈfrazəl/ 
frazzled, past participle; frazzled, past tense; frazzles, 3rd person singular present; frazzling, present participle
  1. Cause to feel completely exhausted; wear out
    • - a frazzled parent

  1. Fray
    • - change the skirt if it gets frazzled
    • - it's enough to frazzle the nerves


To Do: 
  1. Clean kids’ bedrooms.
  2. Guests arrive in 4 days.  Procrastinate no more!!
  3. Scrub dreaded stove top, including steel and cast iron.  Whose idea was it to switch from electric to gas anyway?

Dear Diary,
 Another day seemed to slip away.  The bedrooms never got cleaned, but I did manage a blog post.  Once the creative fire is fed, everything else will fall into place, right?  Tomorrow is another day.


To do:
  1.  Tackle yesterday’s chores.
  2.  Try not to email Hunky BF in America 10 times today. Limit texts too.  Timeboxing is an essential skill for all progressive single mothers… even where long distance relationships are concerned.
  3. Stop pining for said boyfriend and act my age.  Though it’s true that love makes the world go around, somebody needs to clean these bathrooms fast!

Dear Diary,
Can you believe I actually sent Hunky BF an email entitled ‘Quick note from a frazzled mom’ today?  I was at my wits end, and felt so low after a meltdown when Middle Child wouldn’t take his timeout this morning.  BF sent back wise advice, which I took, and everything is fine again.  I miss him more than ever and have decided timeboxing is not for this bird!
Good news: Current facebook status reads,
Spent the day cooking comforting spag bol with fresh tomatoes etc. and finally cleaned the kids' rooms. Reward: I can see the floors again, big glass of el vino, blazing fire, hot bath, and next up a rom-com. C.O.Z.Y.
Top of Form
Bottom of Form

Unfortunately the movie was boring and I fell asleep watching it.  


To Do:

  2. That’s all… and good luck!
Dear Diary,
My fridge is now clear of all relish, mustard, and chutney which expired in 2009.  Clearly we need to use our condiments more often!  Rotting vegetables and mouldy hummus are no longer an offense either.  I’ve also mopped up pools of water, which will  quickly reappear if I don’t defrost the freezer soon.  What’s that saying?  Something about Moses… or Rome … Can’t finish everything in one day!


To Do:

  1. Wash all sheets and dress the beds for our guests.
  2. Clean both bathrooms. 
  3. Launder towels.
  4. Shop for groceries.  Remember to defrost homemade chicken stock for kick-ass mushroom risotto to impress and comfort foreign visitors on their first night here.
  5. Stock up on wine for them too (and try not to drink it before they arrive).
Dear Diary,
I only managed to tackle #s 3,4,& 5.  A legal letter came in the post which threw me for another loop.  I spent the rest of the day phoning lawyers and writing responses.  My guests arrive tomorrow, but they’ll have to accept the situation for what it is: a mess.


To Do:

  1. HIDE STUFF!  They’ll be here in a few hours.  Cram boxes with stray puzzle pieces, children’s drawings, miscellaneous toys, etc. into the recycling cupboard.  ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ is today’s philosophy.
  2. Make dirt disappear!  Last ditch effort to scrub mouldy tiles in back bathroom, clear cobwebs, and hope no one looks up at the peeling paint. Unclog shower drain; all that hair is gross… Might need some caustic soda too.
  3. Vacuum! The whole house!!
  4. First, locate… then light aroma lamp, candles, incense, etc. to create atmosphere of calm tranquillity! 
  5. Remember to change out of PJs and brush teeth. Wipe sweat from brow and spray copious amounts of Chanel Mademoiselle before meeting foreigners for lunch downtown.
  6. Mental note: due for a blog post today.  It’s Wishful Wednesday.  What do I really want this week?  Fashionable rubber kitchen gloves would be perfect.  If I can feel sexy while I scrub, that’s at least something.  And the matching apron is super chic! 

  • *Discovered a blog & shop which sells these beauties, called Lady Grace.  Wish I had some of that too!

      Dear Diary, 
      My three guests arrived from America and Denmark safely.  After a frantic morning, I was satisfied with my home at last.  We collected my well groomed children from school before heading home so our visitors could rest.  All was going according to plan.  My friend’s mother even remarked that my home evokes a sense of “peace”, just what I’ve been striving for.  

      I breathed a sigh of relief, but it was a moment too soon.  My son piped up, “Hey, our house is NEVER this clean!”  I feigned deafness of course. It was a little harder a few minutes later when my daughter screamed, “LOOK!” as if a spider had startled her.  She had opened the refrigerator door and was staring at its contents, visibly astonished.  As if she’d never seen a clean fridge. Humph!  

      Embarrassed, I quickly closed the door and sent my darlings to their room.  Not before my son opened the recycling cabinet, by now suspicious about what I’d been doing while he was learning his maths at school.  “Hey!  Why is Ella’s piggy bank in here?”  He’d found the box of hidden crap.  I should have known they’d blow my cover.  I think I played it off well though…


      To Do:
      1. Bring visitors pony trekking at their request.
      2. Show them the splendour of Bantry House and have tea & scones together.
      3. Cook another wholesome meal, and relax beside the wood stove after dinner.

      Dear Diary,
      I was afraid we’d wake our visitors, since they’re on vacation, but they were up before us.  I forgot how early Americans rise.  By the time I returned from the school run, they were dressed and ready for sightseeing.  Of course I had yet to shower, drink my coffee, and adjust to being upright.  Mornings are not exactly my thing.

      Pony trekking was a disaster since the couple who run the business were out of town for the day.  I improvised, took my tourists for a wild walk in nature.  (They were keen for an outdoor activity, despite the wind and rain).  We hiked through the forest and along a river in the Mealagh Valley.  The scenery is stunning there, and everyone seemed to be invigorated afterward.  I think my friend’s mom was sincere when she said she was glad she’d experienced sloshing through an “Irish bog”…


      To Do:

      1. Count the spots on my face.  Where did all these pimples come from?  Suddenly my skin has broken out worse than when I was a teenager.  
      2. Collapse.

      Dear Diary,
      My guests left for Kinsale first thing this morning.  While they drove towards new adventures, I collapsed on the couch and buried myself under blankets.  I’m not sure how long I slept.  It’s mid-day now, and I’m counting the hours until wine o’clock.  TGIF!

      The beds have to be stripped, and sheets need washing once more.  But it can wait.  This frazzled- but thankfully not frumpy- mom is back to procrastinating.  As the Italians say: Que Shiraz, Shiraz… what will be, will be!



      1. I'm fascinated...what is an aroma lamp? And I'm sure one
        American who does not rise early!!

      2. Tee hee... When you comin'? I'll get the goose down duvets ready! Nothing like sleeping in while the rain pours, I say... :)
        An aroma lamp holds a tealight underneath a little bowl, which you add water and essential oils to. When you light the candle, the room is infused with lovely, healing smells. Girl, I know what I'm getting you for Christmas!! I'm surprised you don't already have one, knowing how you love your home. xx


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